When one door of happiness closes, another one opens, but often, we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
Tag Archives: marriage
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
it isn’t about the friends you’ve known for the longest. it’s about the ones that came in & never left your side.
If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine…
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.
– Courtney Kuchta –
My love, I have tried with all my being
to grasp a form comparable to thine own,
but nothing seems worthy;
I know now why Shakespeare could not
compare his love to a summer’s day.
It would be a crime to denounce the beauty
of such a creature as thee,
to simply cast away the precision
God had placed in forging you.
Each facet of your being
whether it physical or spiritual
is an ensnarement
from which there is no release.
But I do not wish release.
I wish to stay entrapped forever.
With you for all eternity.
Our hearts, always as one.
– Anthony Kolos –
A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.
Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.
And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.
– Sheelagh Lennon –
When I Look Back
When I look back
On the dreams I left behind;
Buried there in all my thoughts
It is you I always find.
I saw you then as I see you now
Through love’s impassioned blindness,
A heart so fashioned there within
Filled with love and kindness.
How often has my heart declared
With anguish, for my words are few,
That the wind shall blow a little longer,
To keep me here with you.
Sweeter still are the pains of love.
The bonds of love grow stronger,
Even after the moonlight has gone to sleep,
I shall always love you longer.
No other can stir my heart so deep,
Or thrill me through and through,
And in my dreams there will never be
No other love but you.
When I look back to times gone by
There is one sure thing I know
It is you my love, who stole my heart
Sixteen years ago.
When I first saw you, I was afraid to talk to you. When I first talked to you, I was afraid to like you. When I first liked you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I’m afraid to lose you.
If you have a special someone, hold on to them. Love them and care for them and never let go of that love that is between you two. Never let that fire be put away. Spend as much time together as the time you first met. Are you afraid or ashamed of your feelings? Don’t be! Let that special person know how you feel. Maybe that person feels the same for you and is also afraid of letting you know. Everyone is afraid of letting their guard down. Many don’t want to love because are afraid of getting hurt. Well by God’s grace and love, we are to love each other and be as one. Don’t hold on to that love and think there is someone else that deserves it when you might have that ONE next or close to you. Remember, If you don’t take care of that special person, someone else will.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. — At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Alex Kendrick is living proof that God can use obedient people to accomplish the seemingly impossible. How can he and the pastors of a small Georgia church produce, direct and market one movie-much less four theatrical released films- that keep impacting the lives of millions of people.
In this I am Second film Alex details the incredible story of how God worked to create and distribute the movies. He also reveals how God was convicting him in many of the same areas as the movie topics. His dilemma-if he could be obedient in making movies for God, could he also be obedient in making changes in his life, too?
God said something to me…it’s like he spoke to me so clearly that I heard him word for word. He said, “Alex would you rather have an easier road with less fruit or a harder road with more fruit.” And I was so stunned at that, I turned to my wife and I said, “ God just asked me a question” And she said, “what?” And I said, “God just asked me a question.” And she said, “well what did you say?” I said, “I do not know. I did not answer.”
As a boy, for years we did not even have a television. Our parents were pretty conservative, loved the Lord and wanted to …you know rightly protect us. We were able to see on occasion a movie, a family friendly movie at the theater. I remember being enamored with these huge stories on screen. The Raiders of the Lost Ark, the Star Wars movies, and somewhere around the age of 9 or 10 I started thinking that I must do this. Most of the stories that I made as a kid with our home video camera were “chase them down beat them up” movies. We had to have action. We had to have humor. We would show them to our family and neighborhood friends and they would laugh with us but the older I got I remember seeing how a good story would impact the audience. That was my wakeup call. That God could say, “ Alex, I can use your desire to do this for my purposes and do more with it than you ever thought possible if you trust me with it.”
I prayed about it. And God gave me this idea for a plot called Flywheel. It was about a used car salesman who would live one way in front of his family and church friends and another way behind the scenes. Men began responding to the story of Flywheel saying, “that’s me” on the screen. “that is me.” Then before we knew it, Blockbuster video had picked it up and put it in their stores nationwide. And I was excited and at the same time I was overwhelmed. Our Pastor Michael then said, “this may be an open door that God has given us. We may need to pray about continuing this avenue for ministry.”
That led us to our second movie Facing the Giants. I had no clue what was coming. God was about to teach us something hard, and yet amazing. We felt a very strong sense that God was saying, “Deal with faith.” Everyone has a giant fear, sense of failure, struggling with inferiority, or some ball and chain in their own life.“
We asked the question – Is God only worthy of being worship when he is doing good to you or is he worthy of being worshiped because he is God? I was excited about this message, and then we go knock on several doors of distributors, hoping that somebody will pick it up and release it theatrically.
No one was interested. They said, “ it’s a nice story.” “not really our cup of tea or something we feel like would work well enough to invest for a theatrical release.” So I was frustrated. And I said, “God I feel like you gave us this theme and this message and you took us down this road. And we have poured our heart and soul into this. We did this for you and now it is sitting on a shelf. No one is interested, why?”
God said to me, “Alex you made a movie that says that God is worth worshiping and serving whether you win or whether you lose. Will you do that with this film?” so we surrendered it to God and I died to a theatrical release.
Soon after that a music company we had asked permission to use a song in the film calls us. And they say to us, “not only can you use the song, but our parent company is interested in releasing your movie theatrically. “ We said, “Who is your parent company?” They said, “Sony.” The one door we had not knocked on. God opened a door we could not have opened. We did not even knock on their door.
Facing the Giants was released in several hundred movie theatres in fall of 2006. It did better than any of us expected. The marketing budget was small and the number of theaters was so far less than any other Hollywood movie, but the response was incredible. People were saying, “this is my giant , that’s my giant.” God had done the same thing in my life and watching him do it in so many other lives was so fulfilling.
As the platform expanded for us to tell these stories, as more theatres jumped on board, more ministries caught hold of what these movies could do for people. For some reason, the path got harder for us.
My time with my wife and my children began to lessen and began to pull on my own identity. Who am I? What am I supposed to be doing here? And it would only get harder from there.
As we continued praying, God impressed on us to make a film about a marriage totally surrendered to him. God gave us this concept for what we called the Love Dare. About a husband who’s marriage was failing and so he wanted out and his wife wanted out and the husband’s dad who had trusted God late in his life came to him and said, “don’t get divorced, yet, I want you to hold off for 40 days, before proceeding and I want you to apply these principles to your life and how you treat your wife for 40 days.”
So we make this movie Fireproof. And my brother, Stephen, and I start praying through, should we write this book The Love Dare for real. As we are working on this book, we find a publisher for it, but before it comes out, issues in my own marriage started to bubble up to the surface.
Some insecurity in my wife and some of her frustration that– because I was pouring so much of myself into something that was good- she felt in many ways neglected- put on the back burner.
I knew she loved me and I knew I loved her, but I was thinking “what is going on here?” I was writing a book and making a movie about how to have a Godly marriage and my own marriage was being stretched and pulled more than it ever had.
And initially that frustrated me. And I remember thinking, “ why can you not be on my team?” so we agreed to go to marital counseling. While we are in counseling this book the Love Dare on how to have a good marriage is being released. It is not that the Love Dare wasn’t true and didn’t work ‘cause they are biblical principles and I ended up doing it in my own marriage. But God stripped me down to the core and reminded me that just because I know truth in my head doesn’t mean that I have it all figured out in my own heart. That I needed him as much as anybody. I had to cling to his grace and his truth as much as I ever had.
After Fireproof we asked “God do you want us to make another film and if so what should it be about.” And after praying God directed us to fatherhood. I do not have to tell you what is going on with men in our culture. They are not stepping up the way they need to step up and I was not stepping up the way I needed to step up. It kind of freaked me out because I was thinking, “God why are you making me live out the movies that we are presenting. You did it in Giants and you did it in Fireproof.” It kind of unnerved me because in some ways I was not so sure I wanted to do another movie.
God kind of has a way of knocking the pride out of you. But he also has a way of using you, so as long he gives me the strength and the grace to tell another story. If He is there with me, I’ll do it.
My prayer is that Courageous grabs men by their throats and reaches into their hearts and sparks them to chase after God. We want to see God rock our culture with men stepping up, so I’ll carry that torch. My brother, Stephen, will carry that torch. If He helps me. And I am counting on it.
My name is Alex Kendrick and I am Second.
Has this message touched you in any way? Make the decision and follow Christ and be ready to be use in a magnificent way to glorify the name of the Lord.
Jesus taught not only that marriage was designed by God to be monogamous (that it was to be two becoming one flesh), to be unbroken, but that it was only for this life. Matthew 22:30, Mark 12:25, Luke 20:35, all of those indicates that marriage is only for this earth not for heaven.
Now this doesn’t mean that we are not to enjoy our marriage. We are bless by our heavenly father with a spouse here on earth to be our partner and our friend so we won’t be lonely on our walk with the Lord. We are to love our spouse to the fullest. But when we rapture, we will be dedicating our lives to God in heaven.
For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven.
(Matthew 22:30 NLT)
For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven.
(Mark 12:25 NLT)
But in the age to come, those worthy of being raised from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage.
(Luke 20:35 NLT)